Agency and Indian Agents are still among us...

Received word that the OCR within the Department of Education found no foul at Century High School, despite the fact that we had proof to the contrary, from the Mayo Clinic no less.  They found no foul because they NEVER interviewed our witnesses.

Century now gets to carry on, discriminating as before and also claiming that students broke codes of conduct with out any proof.  How utterly sad for the City of Rochester.  

It should come as no surprise because any AGENCY that has to investigate itself, will probably find no wrong against their own kind.  Ferguson, NY and OHIO bore this out and it will continue to happen because of the doctrine of discovery.  The burden is on us poor folk to prove that the dominant society did something wrong.   Now therein lies the rub.

What is wrong?  Nothing is wrong if you say, "I have no memory of that..."  Or if you say, "I just did what I usually do..." and so on.  Poor baby is just a cog in the wheel, problem is, that wheel of discovery just keeps on rolling over us poor folk.

In GOM's day, Indian Agents renamed us, decided who was Indian and who wasn't, decided who to pay, record, and so on.  They set up AGENCIES to determine that all was being treated fairly and according to the law; to their advantage.  Ah, there is the rub.  It rears its ugly head for the discerning eye to see.  Those who can see, have the wheel marks still squarely upon them, having been trampled under time and time again.

Those of us who have been raised by goodly parents who also have the discerning eye, have said, "get all of the education you can because that is the one thing they cannot take away from you!"  Yet, with all of our education and proof, the world is still theirs.  

We are left to hold our heads up high and say, my name is "Wanske" or "Hopoekaw" or Valerie Guimaraes aka "Henook Pinga" and I will be counted.  I will tell you my name so that you can record it properly, and Century/OCR you can keep your money 'cuz I don't need it!  Never wanted it, that was their fear!  We are doing just fine thank you.  You are the ones in need.  I will keep my integrity and honesty.  You however, desperately need to receive training on discrimination, institutional racism, and the law.  Oh, and perhaps a lesson on statistics would help as well because in due time, there will be more of us than you.

So Elusive is Thy Love

If I haven't said in a while, this is the view from the south of Doty Island.  This is where Jonathan Carver met Glory of the Morning in 1766, during his journey in the New World.

The Dakota 38 Ride starts soon.  I sent some maz on to one of the riders.  He and his family are such a bright star in a dark Crow Creek winter's night from where The Ride will begin.  Would love to be there, but we are off to see family.  I said in an earlier tweet that family (in-laws) are overrated.  Yet, there are those that I love. I wonder about some and the others,  well, not so much of anything.

I pondered on this.

All throughout my life growing up with Gram and Choka, there were so many family and tribal struggles and so much jealousy that it was hard to have peaceful relations with anyone for too long.  Yet, when there was great need, a death, an illness we all came together for a ceremony.  It was so nice.  There were songs that were sung, with the water drum beating ever so gently.  I miss those songs!  I still remember a few and sing them when I feel lonely for my grandparents.

These difficult family relationships haven't changed much.  Now, I must include my husband's family.  I used to be so close to some of them.  One in particular, who is now divorced from the family.  People thought we were sisters, instead of our husbands who were brothers.  I sent a note to his new wife to wish her well one day, accept her in some small way and that is when it started.

Well, it actually started with my mother in law.  Angry that I was not Catholic (never) and was very much, Indian.

This, and my note to the new wife, just fed into the life blood of this amazing family.  Each member so unique and gifted, yet I was not one of them and would never be, and neither would our adopted children.

We plodded on, until today, when I realized that we never have any contact with them and neither would my children when Paulo and I are gone.  They seem to be quite fine with this, but I am sad about it.

I won't apologize for Paulo and I falling in love and still being married after 29 years.  I won't apologize for our adopted children after years and years of trying to conceive.  One of Paulo's brothers was actually disgusted with us after we adopted Sam and then Amalia.  One he could understand, but two more, ridiculous.  What about our happiness he said.  LOL!  I won't apologize for being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints either.  I won't apologize for keeping my ways in my way, and the way that I was taught my Gram and Choka.  I won't apologize for being me.  I am so done with that!  I won't apologize for researching my ancestor Glory of the Morning who was the first and only Peace Chief of a band of Ho-Chunk who resided on Doty Island.

I will miss The Ride this year.  It helps me heal and remember.  I need The Ride to heal.  I need to heal from so much anger about assimilation, treaties, clans attacking clans and the clan-less, families members feeling more Guimaraes or Decorah than others, church members feeling more righteous than others, the racism and discrimination in DMC, so much dishonesty and lack of integrity in and out of the church....no, I am not judging.  I am using that gift of discernment I have been given in great abundance to determine how to preserve my family and myself.

As I write about Glory of the Morning,  I feel the sting of separation and loneliness that she must have felt when up to one half of the tribe separated from one another because she was elected Peace Chief.  I am nothing special to many, but I am special to my people - my little family.  We are alone for a time, but cultivating sweet friendships from among the Creator's choicest people.  Yet, through the sting, the unkindness, the debauchery, the racism, dishonesty, the hope of the season, and the love of family I penned this poem in honor of self preservation:


Fear,
awakened in moonlight,
calms,
gives light to
anger,
with each
rhythmic breath,
fills my heart with,
loneliness.

Yearn,
overcome in darkness,
paralyzed to lose
self,
each thought,
surrenders,
accepting everything,
becoming nothing,
ordinary.


Dream,
greater than this,
ancients lived,
triumphant over death,
despair,
releases hope,
precious and rare,
so elusive is Thy love.  - Valerie DeCora Guimaraes